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TORN From the Inside Out & THE JOURNEY

 MEMOIRS In 1973,  a young woman, barely sixteen years old, and a zealous member of a cultist religious group, married a twenty-three year-o...

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Good Love and Bad Love: A Killing Difference

By
Sara Niles

People marry for ‘love’ and they form relationships based on ‘love’-but does that mean that both parties in a love relationship, love the same way? There are two types of love. When I provided domestic violence prevention trainings for grades 1-12, years ago, in order to reach young children who were still in Piaget’s concrete reasoning stage, I had to simplify the differences in the two types of love as ‘Good Love’ and ‘Bad Love’:

Good Love is unselfish and unconditional
Bad Love is selfish and conditional           
Good Love is not controlling
Bad Love is controlling
Good Love would never hurt the love object
Bad Love can kill the love object-especially if ‘it’ dares to leave them; watch this 48 Hour Special:
https://www.facebook.com/48hours

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Trolls in Cyberspace: The New Road Rage

By Sara Niles
10-10-2013

The term ‘troll’ originated in mythical lore at ugly beings that were grotesque and up to no good, and the term ‘road rage’ originated in modern times with the advent of automobiles and concentrated traffic on highways. Both terms have come into play in cyberspace as ‘trolls’ have populated almost every form of social media looking for ways to stir up discontent and provoke arguments.  A troll hides behind anonymity as an unknown person on a computer, just as those who are subject to road rage, release pent up frustration and anger on unsuspecting motorists by calling names and verbally abusing their fellow travelers. It is as if the Troll and the person venting road rage, both are projecting their own anger and sense of inadequacy by ‘picking’ on others to make themselves feel better.

If you have ever encountered this type behavior, it may have been puzzling to see the enormity of rage vented upon people. I was reading an online interview depicting a woman who had lost her son in death and the interviewer questioned her about how she managed to cope. The comments that followed were a true reflection of the compassion that most people are naturally capable of; however, there were a few trolls who actually demeaned the woman as a celebrity whose money and privilege supposedly exempted her form having the right to suffer pain. One troll mercilessly attacked her, entitling her response as ‘Oh Booowhooo” poor you with all your money!’.


If is a shame that some allow their own negative emotions and inadequacies in life to rob them of all natural affection, thus remove them one step away from civility and humanity. No wonder the term ‘troll’ is so fitting.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Interview with Sara Niles, Memoir Author

Question:
Sara Niles primarily writes nonfiction memoirs-Why is that?

I am on a mission to make a difference through The Torn Trilogy memoirs, which addresses family dysfunction, domestic violence, child abuse, mental illness and drug addiction issues, and the destructive effect it has upon human lives.

Most people read books for two reasons: to be entertained and to be informed.

 Many readers have been conditioned to view nonfiction writing as a medium that is purely informational and fiction writing as purely entertaining. The fact is, nonfiction can be both entertaining and it can pack a powerful informational message as well; as an example, the movie Titanic was filled with information about a historical event, but it was also highly entertaining; a fact that also holds true to literature, In Cold Blood by Truman Capote was hailed as a masterpiece in nonfiction literature simply because Capote wrote a true story as though it was fiction.

I have lived an extraordinary life in which the odds were heavily stacked against both me and my children, placing our mere survival at risk countless times. The element of rising suspense that captivates audiences was an actual part of our lives, and the unusual twists and turns that keep you on the edge of your seat, was a normal part of our survival.  When the saying ‘truth is stranger than fiction’ was coined, it aptly applied to our lives and the multitudes of people who have lived similar lives.

 Torn From the Inside Out, The Journey and Out of the Maelstrom, each tells a story that is filled with both entertainment value and informational content. Each of the memoirs can provide whatever a reader is seeking: a good read, insight and information, and entertainment. Regardless of the reason for reading The Torn Trilogy, the reader will come away entertained and enlightened and in the process, the dark veil of family dysfunction will have been lifted a little higher with each reading.

What is the greatest joy of writing for you?

The empowerment of writing life-changing memoirs that offer enlightenment and insight is the greatest joy and is most rewarding for me.

Knowledge and insight is like a light in a dark tunnel, especially if that 'tunnel' is years of denial. I delight in providing insight through my writings that empowers and enables people to change their lives for the better. Most people do not realize that knowledge can help a person forty or fifty years after a traumatic event but shedding light on hidden secrets and enabling people to reexamine the way they saw themselves.
A large percentage of drug addicts and a disproportionate number of the mentally ill are troubled by a past that involved domestic violence or some form of abuse during their childhoods. Light needs to be shed of those faulty perceptions and attitudes.

My writing enables me to become a light bearer in a dark place.