ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/torn-from-the-inside-out-sara-niles/

Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Monday, March 6, 2017

KickStarter: Author on a Mission

Sunday, March 5, 2017

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Thursday, March 2, 2017

Seal Kiss From a Rose official video

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Torn From the Inside Out: abuse knows no bounds

Canada Torn From the Inside Out


During a cold, February thunderstorm, in the dark of night, Sara Niles fled for her life with her five children in tow, forced to disappear in order to stay alive.

Torn From the Inside Out is a true story of extreme domestic violence and family dysfunction that begins with the heroic intervention of an 83 year-old uncle, when Sara Niles was a 3 1/2 year-old child, living in a perilous climate. 

Sara’s great-great Uncle Robert saves her, and takes her home to live on a beautiful, paradisiac farm to live with he, and his childless wife, Sara’s Aunt Molly.
Set in the Rural South during a time of racial conflict, Sara begins her life racially mixed, half White and half Black, during the late 1950’s. The story fast forwards, as the wonderful life provided by Sara's aged uncle and aunt falls apart, leaving Sara vulnerable to the advances of Vietnam Veteran Thomas Niles, whom she marries when only sixteen years old. Niles is a violent and abusive man, given to sudden rages and fits of mood that were entirely foreign to Sara.

True to Sara’s optimistic spirit, Sara attempts to help Thomas Niles conquer his demons, while hoping and wishing for better times, and enduring abuse, Sara eventually comes to the realization Thomas Niles is a killer, who promises to kill her and ‘every one of those children’, if she tried to leave him.

Torn From the Inside Out probes the depth of human behavior to the root of existence, as it emotionally traverses the soil of our hearts and souls. Human relationships from early childhood through adulthood, color our views of selves and the world around us. Our pasts are what make us what we are. It is the pain that is experienced through earlier life that makes us wise in hindsight; illuminating the past with new light. It is through the lens of life that Sara tells her story:

“In the process of my evolution, I became a victim of domestic war, an emotional casualty for a major portion of my life, entwined, entrapped and emotionally involved, until I learned how to become free. Freedom has never been easily gained and has often come at high cost throughout history, but one thing I will always know is freedom is worth every fight, and all pain.” 

Sara Niles from Torn From the Inside Out

Culture and Domestic Violence

The larger culture adopts beliefs and attitudes, platitudes, and apathetic stances that work against the eradication of sexual victimization of all humans. Men, women and children, both male and female children, have been and continue to be sexually exploited and abused at an alarming rate. When domestic violence preventative actions, and intervention programs operate aggressively with the backing of organizations such as Its On Us (ItsOnUs.org), public awareness and individual responsibility is raised. Each person has a responsibility to do what he or she can to prevent the sexual exploitation of children, teenagers and adults of both genders, even if this action is only a change of attitude toward this dangerous epidemic. Sexual abuse of children leads to a high degree of dysfunction as adults, especially when society blames and shames the victim so that abuse is kept secret when it should be exposed and dealt with. Society must stop shaming victims. Its On Us.http://itsonus.org/#pledgeTake the Its On Us Pledge

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Shakira - Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) (The Official 2010 FIFA World...

Monday, January 2, 2017

Lessons from Maya Angelou's last Memoir: Mom and Me


Maya Angelou, was born in 1928, in St. Louis Missouri, and raised in Stamps Arkansas by her grandmother, after her parents dissolved their relationship. The name, Maya Angelou, was a consolidation of her childhood nickname and a shortened form of her married name. Maya Angelou not only scripted her name, she scripted a successful life as a multi-talented, dancer, performer, director and world famous author.
During the course of Maya Angelou’s self-made life, she became a civil rights activist and close friend of Martin Luther King, and James Baldwin, all during the early 1960’s; later  becoming a friend-mentor to one of the greatest personages of our century, Oprah Winfrey.

The autobiographical memoir, I Know Why the Caged Bird sings, was the first of many memoirs. Mom and Me was the last. The story of the relationship forged between the two powerhouse women, Maya Angelou and her mother Vivian Baxter, covers several decades, from the racially segregated and tumultuous years in The South, to the California years spent with her mother as a young teenager.
The power of Maya Angelou’s mother’s influence upon her life journey was not completely realized by the author until after her mother’s death. As is the case with most of us, it is only after the years of life experience that our personal introspection can match our external analysis of the world we inhabit; therefore, Mom and Me was written as the last autobiographical book of the great author.

It is through the pages of Mom and Me that we discover the subtleties of life created by the strain between the dominant white culture and black subculture that fueled the strong determination to not only merely survive , but thrive, by Vivian Baxter. In a short excerpt of Mom and Me, Maya Angelou’s mother encouraged her to persevere when faced with rejection based on race, and when Maya succeeded in becoming the first female and first black person to secure the job, Maya’s mother asked her what she had learned by her unrelenting determination:

Angelou gave the simple answer which was that she learned she was not afraid to work, and that was “about all”, at which her mother corrected her by pointing out the deeper lesson.

“No, you learned that you have power”. 

 The awareness of personal power was perhaps one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon Angelou by her mother. The acutely attuned sense of self-perception, and the strong inner drive that was forged by Angelou’s mother and grandmother, was transferred to Angelou during her formative years. The strength, resilience, fearlessness, and courage of Maya Angelou became the trademark character traits that defined her as a public figure, and served her for a lifetime. It was Angelou’s mother, Vivian who moved her to think ‘large thoughts’ and to dream big. Without Vivian, there would not have been a Maya.

In order to fully appreciate the journey of Maya Angelou, you must read Mom and Me, because it is more than the last memoir of Maya Angelou, it is a window into the development of a cultural phenomenon. The ultimate lesson is the positive force of parent upon child is never to be underestimated.