ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/torn-from-the-inside-out-sara-niles/

Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Monsters



The Newtown Connecticut massacre was committed less than thirty days ago by a heavily armed man who was presumed to be mentally ill, leading to the unavoidable question of ‘Why?’-why do killers kill?
Mass Murderers, Spree Killers and Serial Killers, all hold traits in common? What are they?

Monsters Among Us by Josephine Thompson goes into a psychologically detailed analysis of the motivations of the killers among us.
Monsters Among Us:
Who Are They & From Whence Do They Come
***
Some People are motivated from deep within their psyche to do harm, to hurt, to maim, torture and kill and to do it in the worst possible way. Whatever taboo there is, they seek to embrace it with the vigor of a lover having sex. The taboo becomes an obsession, a powerful internal force within them that eventually consumes them to the point the malignant drive overtakes them and they become like an addict servicing an addiction. For humans that have devolved to such a low level, the functional service of a personal conscience in no longer needed because they choose to commit unconscionable acts that are both criminal and morally reprehensible, acts against which a trained conscience would merely pose  a hindrance to their self gratification. It is those people who are the least like us; in fact they are so far removed from normal mores and values that we, the ‘normal’ people are fascinated by them. We are puzzled by them and can’t understand how they are made, because they defy everything that makes us human and are to us like aliens.
One of the most poignant lines in the movie The Dark Knight (2008) is contained in the scene between Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth when he explained to Wayne that all men were not ‘simple’- that some defied logic, that the motivation of some men to create ruin is not born from logical desires for money or fame, but stems from something deeper and darker within them:

They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned,
Or negotiated with.
Some men just want to watch the world burn”

Alfred Pennyworth
From the movie The Dark Knight (2008)