ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/torn-from-the-inside-out-sara-niles/

Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

War: A Costly Endeavor

By Sara Niles Author of Torn From the Inside Out

War is the most costly government operation of all time, because the currency of the interchange is human life and everyone loses in war. As the modernity of the times produced superpowers, the wars have become potential super wars: World Wars I and II were the first concrete examples of wars out of control. In World War One, over 37,000,000 lives were lost, with the greatest numbers of casualties suffered by the superpowers: over 65,000,000 were mobilized worldwide, with the greatest losses suffered by Russia, France and Germany (http://www.pbs.org/greatwar/resources/casdeath_pop.html ). When you examine the numbers from the Second World War, the numbers appear to come from a science fiction horror movie; because WWII was the biggest and deadliest war in all of human history. You would think the world leaders would have learned from the first war.

The dangers of declaring war versus the danger of not declaring war-now that is the question facing the world leaders yet again. Syria has committed the unthinkable and used chemicals to kill over 1400 people (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-23906913), a mere harbinger of what they may do in the near future, if not stopped.

Now we are faced with a fearful decision that involves a two pronged danger: the danger of war from action and the danger of war from inaction- a critical dilemma of the worst kind. Will there be a need to fight to protect the good in the world? And what will be the end after all is said and done?

In the Lord of the Rings (Movie), Sam said to Frodo that

“… there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for”