ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble


Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

The Artists of Psychotherapy: Virginia Satir, Carl Whittaker and John Bradshaw

By Sara Niles

In every discipline and profession, you find those who work on a ‘below’ average level, an average level and the ‘above average level’; these are the talented ones, the artists within their fields.
Sigmund Freud was one of the earliest among those who fall into this caliber of awareness that enabled him to give the world a view into the psychic mechanisms behind human behavior; but as the world of psychology expanded, several extraordinary people came to the fore.

In order to appreciate what is involved in therapy and psychotherapy, it is important to realize that the mind governs the  thinking, feeling and behavior of a person; and if the mind gives faulty instructions, then there will be flaws in either or all of those areas.  Cognitive psychology usually deals with the thinking, Behavioral Psychology with the behavior and Psychoanalytic usually deals with the emotions as perceived or experienced. The branches of psychology and those who work within them, often stick to one of the specialties; however, truly talented therapists do on limit themselves, but tend to be able to see the person as a component of all three: their thinking, feeling and behaviors, from childhood through adulthood.
I have selected three of my favorite artists of psychotherapy:

 Virginia Satir (1916-1988) Pioneered Family Therapy; identified the fact that the ‘presenting’ problem in family was seldom the problem, since it was simply a symptom of deeper problems. Satir developed a model designed to get to the root of the issues in a family.

Carl Whittaker (1912-1995) Whittaker was a mix between Dr. Phil, with his no-nonsense approach and Virginia Satir’s treatment of the family as a unit with hidden agendas. Whittaker was known to ‘break the rules’ and do such things as shock the patient to force them out of their stuck positions and beliefs.

John Bradshaw (b. 1933): Expert on family dynamics and the ‘inner child’ and international bestselling author of self-help books.
Presentation on YouTube: