ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/torn-from-the-inside-out-sara-niles/

Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Eric Garner & Michael Brown: Forefront of a Social Movement

By Sara Niles

We are witnessing the beginning of a social movement with two names at the forefront: Michal Brown and Eric Garner. When a large group of people act as one to effect change, it is often marked by upheaval and conflict, such as was the case during the 1960's.

I remember the 1960's as a time of upheaval and protests, the outward expression of cries for change from multiple perspectives, from demanding equal rights for the races and genders, to an end to the Vietnam War. The simple truth was things were not okay as they were. The cultural climate and the political climate were at odds during that time, one was set to overthrow a set of rules and attitudes that prevented change, and the other was comfortable where they were. It is almost always those in power who are most comfortable with things as they are, and they seldom call for sweeping change.This pattern has been in place as long as there have been people on earth, which of course is the reason why change is often a turbulent process, that comes from deep within a nation, from the 'bottom up', just as we are witnessing in 'Ferguson'.

In the case of Ferguson, the shooting of unarmed young Micheal Brown was the last straw in a long string of events that led to the beginning of the 'movement' and  Eric Garner's unnecessary death at the hands of those who were sworn to serve and protect, was the call to pick up the momentum. The Grand Jury verdicts in each case signaled  the fact that something in the system was broken and in need of change, sparking a wave of protests that will not end soon.

Change is in the making.