ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

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The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Young Malcolm London: High School Training Ground

Malcolm London: High School Training Ground

This Great Young Activist uses poetic dialogue, rhythmically delivered to make strong social statements about education, and the social influences that interfere with standard learning. Youth from homes that are filled with problems that are much bigger than the ones faced at school, come to school burdened with  more than the usual obstacles to success, internal, invisible obstacles. In Malcolm's speech, these invisible obstacles are brought to light, and the depth of the problems facing many of our youth are clearly revealed. Until the right problems are addressed the three RRR's and all that goes with it in our educational system, will never be able to reach all the 'right' minds and help all of America's youth to reach their potential.

America is rebuilt by each new generation, a little at a time and that is why the country needs all the healthy young minds and happy hearts we can give it.

Malcolm is one of those great young minds, busy changing the world. What if we had lost Malcolm, what a great loss that would have been. There are many more 'Malcolms' out there, in need of a clear path to success and happiness. The obstacles to that clear path include the social ills that have plagued American's for decades, from poverty, economic disparity, social divisions, racial divisions to generational patterns of destructive family dynamics. In order for all children to have the same paths to success, all children must have safe homes and their basic needs met, and all children must be able to feel physically and emotionally safe in their homes and free from abuse and neglect.

All children need to feel loved. These simple and basic requirements provide the foundation upon which education is built. Malcolm London eloquently points out that fact.