ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/torn-from-the-inside-out-sara-niles/

Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Monday, August 17, 2015

What If Donald Trump Became the President of the United States?



The question alone gets immediate attention, just as Trump himself is an attention magnet as proven by the political popularity poll for the Republican candidacy showing Trump in the lead by an increasing widening margin. 

 But really, What If ?


Donald Trump is known for strong personality and penchant for voicing his opinion regardless of the consequences, which is not a trait of a stable and diplomatic leader. International relations between countries during this volatile time in human history are fragile and must be handled with care, not with bombastic and grandiose rhetoric used carelessly by a single individual who sees himself as ‘Batman’ as Trump presented himself to kids during a Trump helicopter ride during the IOWA State Fair:  CNN

Batman of the movies was a rich billionaire capable of superhuman feats performed by an altruistic humanitarian, Batman as ‘The Donald’, (First wife, Ivana’s name for him), is another story. Trump as Batman would make a strangely different president of the United States, one whose word held special powers. In Trump’s form of ideology, he can say it and it happens. Among the statements made by Trump are the following:


  • Build a wall between Mexico and the U.S. and ‘Make Mexico’ pay for it
  • Deport (11,000,000) Immigrants, including children born in America
  • “Demand money from Middle East countries supported by the United States to help pay for the fight against extremist groups” Donald Trump's website
I have respect for Donald Trump the businessman, the Billionaire, but I have great fear of him ever becoming the next United States Dictator….oops, I meant President.
 
If Donald Trump became the next president of the U.S., I fear war would ensue with more than one country. The poor of America would suffer even more than now, immigrant families would be torn apart, and the government would become bogged down in an attempt to enforce unenforceable rules and laws. Donald Trump's campaign motto is 'Make America Great Again', as though we are no longer a Great Nation. America has been Great for hundreds of years, mainly because the United States of America is a progressive nation that adapts to suit the people of America and the needs of the world. American is also a democracy that bends to the needs of the people.

By the way…Mexico is one of the 23 countries that make up North America http://www.worldatlas.com/webimage/countrys/na.htm   and the U.S. has had peaceful relationships with those neighbor countries until now. .But... If ‘The Donald, becomes president?