ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

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Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Domestic Homicide stories are in the news every day of the year, in fact when you consider the statistics such as  38% of females murdered were killed by intimate partners (2010), and roughly out of every four females murdered by intimates, a male intimate partner is also killed, it is not surprising that tragic Domestic Violence stories are easy to find. These figures do not include the murdered children who become collateral damage, not to even mention the life-long psychological murder that often takes place when childhoods are stolen by the unnatural presence of violence in the home.
For example, on February 3rd, 2014, in Robbins Chicago, a man shot and killed his wife and two kids, although he was attempting to kill all four-a brave 14 year-old boy managed to save his own life and the life of a 5 year-old nephew by running away. One 17 year-old daughter was shot in the back as she tried to escape: http: Man Murders wife and Two kids, Two Escape

This type of behavior constitutes War and Terrorism in the home, the domicile, or-in other words, this is the working definition of domestic violence at its worst.
In 2010, violent crimes by intimate partners (both male and female) totaled 509,230 and accounted for 13 percent of violent crimes.[1]

Neil on Goodreads has started a group on Domestic Violence and the Law and he is using my book: Torn From the Inside Out as the reading material to be discussed. Please join the discussion:

New Abuse and the Law Group on Goodreads by Neil