ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble


Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

The Law and Domestic Murder: How State Mandated Fatality Review Boards use data by Sara Niles

Love, Marriage and Murder, are words that are normally not closely associated in the average mind, although those words become the sad reality of many relationships in which there is serious domestic violence, or violence with the threat of permanent physical harm or death. The patterns that are present in domestic homicides have been used in the past, and are currently still used to provide research data that is useful in the construction of legal protections geared toward preventing future domestic homicides.  

The most serious consequences stemming from domestic violence against partners and children is the murder of victims, domestic homicide, which, in many cases involve the murder of children as well, often with the abuser committing suicide either by cop, or at their own hand immediately after the murders.

The National Domestic Violence Fatality Review Initiative http://www.ndvfri.org/reports.php
South Carolina had the most domestic homicides, with male partners killing female victims in 2013, with more than double the national average:

Fatality Review Boards were established for most states in the year 2004.
The data uses information leading up to the homicide to identify gaps in governmental programs that is examined by a state appointed review team such as the following:

“The review teams are comprised of representatives from government agencies, including prosecutors, public defenders, judges, police, medical examiners, emergency room doctors, court psychologists, corrections or probation officers, child protection workers, school social workers, etc. The teams also include strong representation from domestic violence advocates and from the community.”
From Stop Violence Against Women

Arizona Fatality Review suggests the uses patterns to aid in the cross-coordination of agency efforts between law enforcement and supporting agencies:

Presently the biggest gap is implementing the valuable data into useful law.