ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/torn-from-the-inside-out-sara-niles/

Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Torn From the Inside Out: abuse knows no bounds

Canada Torn From the Inside Out


During a cold, February thunderstorm, in the dark of night, Sara Niles fled for her life with her five children in tow, forced to disappear in order to stay alive.

Torn From the Inside Out is a true story of extreme domestic violence and family dysfunction that begins with the heroic intervention of an 83 year-old uncle, when Sara Niles was a 3 1/2 year-old child, living in a perilous climate. 

Sara’s great-great Uncle Robert saves her, and takes her home to live on a beautiful, paradisiac farm to live with he, and his childless wife, Sara’s Aunt Molly.
Set in the Rural South during a time of racial conflict, Sara begins her life racially mixed, half White and half Black, during the late 1950’s. The story fast forwards, as the wonderful life provided by Sara's aged uncle and aunt falls apart, leaving Sara vulnerable to the advances of Vietnam Veteran Thomas Niles, whom she marries when only sixteen years old. Niles is a violent and abusive man, given to sudden rages and fits of mood that were entirely foreign to Sara.

True to Sara’s optimistic spirit, Sara attempts to help Thomas Niles conquer his demons, while hoping and wishing for better times, and enduring abuse, Sara eventually comes to the realization Thomas Niles is a killer, who promises to kill her and ‘every one of those children’, if she tried to leave him.

Torn From the Inside Out probes the depth of human behavior to the root of existence, as it emotionally traverses the soil of our hearts and souls. Human relationships from early childhood through adulthood, color our views of selves and the world around us. Our pasts are what make us what we are. It is the pain that is experienced through earlier life that makes us wise in hindsight; illuminating the past with new light. It is through the lens of life that Sara tells her story:

“In the process of my evolution, I became a victim of domestic war, an emotional casualty for a major portion of my life, entwined, entrapped and emotionally involved, until I learned how to become free. Freedom has never been easily gained and has often come at high cost throughout history, but one thing I will always know is freedom is worth every fight, and all pain.” 

Sara Niles from Torn From the Inside Out