SARA NILES. Author and Social Media Influencer. Books, Essays, Social Awareness The lives we live determine our passions, and our passions impact the lives we live, in a dynamic, reciprocal pattern. My Life inspired me to write Memoirs: TORN From the Inside Out, The Journey, Out of the Maelstrom, Essays, Opinion Editorials, and social narratives that shed light during dark times.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Nelson Mandela: When Greatness Walked Among Us
“I have fought against white domination, and I have fought
against black
domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society
in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal
opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve.
But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."
domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society
in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal
opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve.
But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."
Nelson Mandela spoke these words from the dock at the Rivonia Treason Trial on April
20, 1964. Through his words and actions ever since, Mandela has
been
embraced worldwide as a symbol of courage, hope, and
reconciliation.
reconciliation.
When Greatness Walked Among Us: Nelson Mandela, 1918-2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
Monday, November 18, 2013
Writing The Book: The Long Journey By Sara Niles
A dream sometimes comes at a very high cost, and it may began as
a passion laden idea, grow to a fire in your soul until it is a mission. Maybe
only you know the value of the dream, but if you are fortunate, others may join
you in your devotion to your cause and support you in your resolute
determination. A dream is not a passive thing, that is if it is really
worthwhile-it takes work; sometimes many years of work.
My dream began in 1995, after formulating as a vague impression
for a few years, before blooming as a full-fledged idea. The book: Torn From
the Inside Out breathed its first breath of life in 2004 as the concrete
vestige of my dream to make a difference. My dream has grown bigger, and it
continues today.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
The Artists of Psychotherapy: Virginia Satir, Carl Whittaker and John Bradshaw
By Sara Niles
In every discipline and profession, you find those who work
on a ‘below’ average level, an average level and the ‘above average level’;
these are the talented ones, the artists within their fields.
Sigmund Freud was one of the earliest among those who fall
into this caliber of awareness that enabled him to give the world a view into
the psychic mechanisms behind human behavior; but as the world of psychology
expanded, several extraordinary people came to the fore.
In order to appreciate what is involved in therapy and
psychotherapy, it is important to realize that the mind governs the thinking, feeling and behavior of a person;
and if the mind gives faulty instructions, then there will be flaws in either
or all of those areas. Cognitive
psychology usually deals with the thinking, Behavioral Psychology with the
behavior and Psychoanalytic usually deals with the emotions as perceived or
experienced. The branches of psychology and those who work within them, often
stick to one of the specialties; however, truly talented therapists do on limit
themselves, but tend to be able to see the person as a component of all three:
their thinking, feeling and behaviors, from childhood through adulthood.
I have selected three of my favorite artists of
psychotherapy:
Virginia Satir (1916-1988)
Pioneered Family Therapy; identified the fact that the ‘presenting’ problem in
family was seldom the problem, since it was simply a symptom of deeper
problems. Satir developed a model designed to get to the root of the issues in
a family.
Foundation Website: http://www.satirpacific.org/therapy
Carl Whittaker (1912-1995) Whittaker was a mix between Dr.
Phil, with his no-nonsense approach and Virginia Satir’s treatment of the
family as a unit with hidden agendas. Whittaker was known to ‘break the rules’ and
do such things as shock the patient to force them out of their stuck positions
and beliefs.
John Bradshaw (b. 1933): Expert on family dynamics and the ‘inner
child’ and international bestselling author of self-help books.
Webpage: http://www.johnbradshaw.com/
Presentation on YouTube:
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Good Love and Bad Love: A Killing Difference
By
Sara Niles
People marry for ‘love’ and they form relationships based on
‘love’-but does that mean that both parties in a love relationship, love the
same way? There are two types of love. When I provided domestic violence prevention
trainings for grades 1-12, years ago, in order to reach young children who were
still in Piaget’s concrete reasoning stage, I had to simplify the differences
in the two types of love as ‘Good Love’ and ‘Bad Love’:
Good Love is unselfish and unconditional
Bad Love is selfish and
conditional
Good Love is not controlling
Bad Love is controlling
Good Love would never hurt the
love object
Bad Love can kill the love
object-especially if ‘it’ dares to leave them; watch this 48 Hour Special:
https://www.facebook.com/48hours
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Trolls in Cyberspace: The New Road Rage
By Sara Niles
10-10-2013
The term ‘troll’ originated in mythical lore at ugly beings
that were grotesque and up to no good, and the term ‘road rage’ originated in
modern times with the advent of automobiles and concentrated traffic on
highways. Both terms have come into play in cyberspace as ‘trolls’ have
populated almost every form of social media looking for ways to stir up
discontent and provoke arguments. A
troll hides behind anonymity as an unknown person on a computer, just as those
who are subject to road rage, release pent up frustration and anger on
unsuspecting motorists by calling names and verbally abusing their fellow
travelers. It is as if the Troll and the person venting road rage, both are
projecting their own anger and sense of inadequacy by ‘picking’ on others to make
themselves feel better.
If you have ever encountered this type behavior, it may have
been puzzling to see the enormity of rage vented upon people. I was reading an
online interview depicting a woman who had lost her son in death and the
interviewer questioned her about how she managed to cope. The comments that
followed were a true reflection of the compassion that most people are
naturally capable of; however, there were a few trolls who actually demeaned
the woman as a celebrity whose money and privilege supposedly exempted her form
having the right to suffer pain. One troll mercilessly attacked her, entitling her
response as ‘Oh Booowhooo” poor you with all your money!’.
If is a shame that some allow their own negative emotions
and inadequacies in life to rob them of all natural affection, thus remove them
one step away from civility and humanity. No wonder the term ‘troll’ is so
fitting.
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