ABOUT Sara Niles

I write to make a difference, therefore my writing is mission oriented and imbued with a deeper purpose because of my traumatic life experiences. I write primarily nonfiction that exemplifies mans inhumanity to man, focusing of the triumphant human spirit within us all.

In Torn From the Inside Out, I call this "The power of the human spirit under fire".

Everyone wants to be happy, and everyone wants to be free; yet, suffering abounds worldwide. The injustice of man against man, is no where more unjust than in the home, where brutality abounds through domestic violence. Domestic Violence must be stopped, and if not stopped, at least, slowed. In any case, it must be fought. We were all born free with the right to happiness.

"Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" Jean Jacques Rousseau

My memoir, Torn From the Inside Out, is a testament to the power of the human spirit under fire.

The Effects of Dysfunction and Domestic Violence are both primary, and secondary in nature, and for many, last a lifetime.

The internal pain caused by childhood abuse, becomes externalized through the triple threats of mental illness, trauma issues, and damaging addictions. I call this triple effect the 'Three Headed Monster'.

Hardback edition of Torn From the Inside Out:

Barnes and Noble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/torn-from-the-inside-out-sara-niles/

Other editions available via Amazon, Createspace, Smashwords , Kobo, and many others. Simply search Sara Niles.

The Face of Dysfunction

Dysfunction Within Families Breeds Dysfunction

Stopping dysfunction in its original form will prevent generational impact that affects individuals, families and society as a whole.

I spent thousands of hours examining people's lives under the microscope of counseling and I continue to see repetitions of the same underlying themes in almost every family. Healthy families beget healthy families and sick families beget families with many of the same sick dysfunctions that they experienced as children. Young boys and girls whose family role models were womanizers or man-users usually womanize or abuse and dispose of men, those whose models drank, usually have a substance abuse problem and those who grew up with hurt, pain, and abuse, usually inflict it upon their families in the same measure, over fifty percent of the time, or they may invariably find a partner who inflicts pain upon them. There are a rare few who escape this repetitive cycle, even though they were raised in it, but they are the exception. Many will marry the negative image of their parent or their opposite in an attempt to recreate what 'love' felt like and looked like to them as a child.

No matter how the child interprets it, when the family model is corrupted then the copy is corrupted. A very wise man that I greatly admired and who was a teacher and trainer once said there was a grandmother who baked a turkey with the edges cut off and both her daughters and granddaughters also baked their turkeys with the edges cut off. When someone asked the granddaughter why she baked her turkey with the edges cut off, she replied because her mother did it that way. When the mother was asked, she replied 'because my mother did it that way' and when the grandmother was asked, she said that she always had a pan that was too small for the turkey so she started trimming the edges so it would fit into the pan.

Dysfunction only needs to operate the first time, the rest will follow. We need to stop dysfunction where it starts in the first family, with the first children. If dysfunction by chance escapes detection, then stop it where you find it.

Saturday, May 31, 2014

Tribute to Maya Angelou by Sara Niles

Maya Angelou died just three days ago, on May 28, 2014. I was a twelve year-old girl when I first heard of Maya Angelou, the author of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and I was engrossed when the story was told via a PBS documentary some years later. I read the book when I was in middle school for the first time, and I re-read it several times thereafter; each time finding a greater depth of meaning as my own perspective of life had expanded. 

I found Dr. Angelou to be a fascinating person as a whole of her many composite selves: the author and poet, the innovative entrepreneur, the multi-talented actress and dancer, and most of all, the tireless humanitarian philosopher and perpetual teacher whose motto was  “ If you learn, teach.”

Maya Angelou was a self-made woman whose phenomenal personality enriched the world that she lived in.
She was indeed a Phenomenal Woman:  Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou from Oprah.com, because when she walked into the ‘room’ of the world and made her place, she was noticed as she walked through life with her head “not bowed”, and even though she did not “talk real loud”, she left the echo of her words behind.

I feel I have lost another part of my life, another life member, because my world has had her in it since I was a child. Although I never met her, I knew she was there... her presence defining the perimeters of the literary world; her tweets and posts providing encouragement and hope for everyone.
I woke up today and remembered she is gone. I offer tribute to the woman who was born to small things yet rose to greatness.

Dr. Maya Angelou’s biography: Biography of Maya Angelou from Maya Angelou.com