The TORN Episodes

The Plague of 'The Narcissists' is Global

 The term 'Narcissist is not new, nor is the behavior, because pathologically selfish people existed in every phase of human history fro...

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Out of the Maelstrom by Sara Niles

Narrative Memoir: Trauma Tragedy and Triumph 260 pages 71,152 words





Out of the Maelstrom is a stand-alone narrative memoir that can be read as part of The Torn From the Inside Out trilogy, or separately. Out of the Maelstrom is narrated by Sara Niles as a collection of short stories , philosophical insights and world views that create a global view of human suffering and provide an inspirational mirror that reflects the “power of the human spirit under fire”





Sara Niles survived extreme abuse and fled with her five children in 1987; over a decade later, Sara became a counselor and trainer for a domestic violence agency in a small town. It was during the ten years Sara was employed as a domestic violence professional that she was exposed to the worst of the worst , and the best of the best , those who were defeated and hardened by life and those who were empowered by trauma and tragedy and who not only survived, by triumphed.





Excerpts and Quotes
"When the storms of life are worse than the storms of nature, those who survive rise out of the maelstrom"





“The pages of my books are the parchment upon which I wrote using the 'ink' of my life: the blood, sweat and tears that represent the long struggle of the 'journey', the life trip that began long ago with the hungry little girl who 'sat in the sand' waiting to be saved by ‘an ancient old man’.  The story of child abuse, salvation, domestic violence and escape as told in Torn From the Inside Out, continued with the endearing and heart wrenching story of the children of Torn From the Inside Out in The Journey, as they struggled with the issues of their own survival and redemption.





 Out of the Maelstrom Out of the Maelstrom contains stories about real people: stories of trauma and triumph, and extremes of what life has to offer, from the kindness that defines the best of human nature to the cruelty that defines the worst. Many of the stories contain paradoxical dilemmas of social significance that have arisen out of our culture and stand as a testament to the broken parts of society that affect the marginalized and the forgotten members, the ones most in need of help. The scope of Out of the Maelstrom broadly sweeps in the worldview as part of the context of everyday human life, since no man exists on an island.





Excerpts from Chapter One





"He was dead, alright. The sight of death is an ugly and fearsome thing, I thought, as I absorbed the tragic sight in front of me. It was a man, 'The man', who was lying in the road with blackish--red blood pooled around his head, and as he lay face down with his feet in his own yard, while his head and shoulders were planted in the street, he gave the appearance of a killed animal felled in its tracks by a hunter."





"I applied to work for this agency because I felt that I belonged there, because it was where my heart was. I wanted to help people who had hurt like I hurt and felt trapped like I had. I wanted to empower those who felt they were powerless and give courage to the broken hearted. My comrades in this mission were all there with me, we all wanted the same things for similar reasons and we would share a rich and grand experience working together, an adventure that needed telling, a soulful potion that needs sharing in the journey of this new life" "She said her name was Evelyn, the name sounded soft and genteel, but the lady was not"





"Oh...You will just have to come see for yourself-I'd get over here if I were you -and hurry!" she said with a little nervous laugh" (Sandy the Shelter Manager)





Table of Contents (samples)

Chapter 1.....Homicide in the Street...11 Chapter 2.....A Place of Safety in a Time of Danger...Chapter 3.....A Special Brand of People  ....Norman Rockwell & The Lady From Harvard... Chapter ....Wolves-Within ...........Chapter 28.....A Visit: Back to My Past... Chapter 29.....

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The U.S. Immigration Dilemma is Here and Now

The Immigration Dilemma in the United States and American Roots

The United States of America was born as a result of the blood sweat and tears of former immigrants who sought out a new land. When the first ‘Americans’ set foot on the new land, the natives occupying the land were the only ‘non’ immigrants, everyone else came from England, different countries in Europe, from forced capture from Africa, and from almost every land in the world, so by the year 2014, America is a true melting pot of nations and cultures. The problem with immigration is not so much that there are immigrants still seeking out American soil, the problem is with keeping legal order so that the borders are not flooded with undocumented immigrants who have no legal right to be here. The U.S. has to keep order, or else situations like the case of hundreds of children being placed at risk crossing the desert and vulnerable to the whim of criminals, will become the new norm.

The immigration situation is filled with complications .Many the children that are currently detained by the United  States , were  running away from  dangerous situations and could face death if returned to their native soil; thus placing the U.S. in a no-win situation. The human thing to do is to protect the children by not returning them to ‘certain death’ as O’Malley stated: 

The legal thing to do is to honor American legislation involving immigration, and send the children back. Some believe the children should not be here at all and are protesting their arrival, and some are protesting the possible deportation of these illegal immigrants. What to do? Stick to the law or act humanely? The question is no longer a practice in rhetoric, the question has to be answered immediately because the problem is here and now.
Arizona Immigrant Children:

It may be wise to reflect upon the roots of American origins before making a hasty decision, for example there were many icons that became American legends, who were first immigrants before they became American citizens. Many have contributed richness to our culture, and some have directly changed politics, science and law.

Famous American Immigrants

Fred Astaire’s father, Frederic Austerlitz (the last name Astaire was an attempt to Americanize the last name Austerlitz), arrived in American via Ellis Island in 1892).
Albert Einstein was born in Germany in 1879 and arrived in the United States just as Hitler came to power and began his campaign against Jews; Einstein was visiting in the U.S. and decided not to return to Germany, since he was Jewish and would have surely become a target of the Nazi regime. It was after Einstein made the decision not to return to Germany that he discovered his name was on a Nazi ‘hit’ list. Einstein became an American citizen in 1940.Einstein revolutionized the world of physics with his clarification of the relationship between energy and matter, E=MC2
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the former governor of California, was born in Austria and came to the United States as a body builder in 1921. Schwarzenegger was considered the most famous immigrant in America. Schwarzenegger became a U.S. citizen in 1983.

To name a few more famous U.S. immigrants: Henry Kissinger, Sophia Loren, and Yao Ming
The White House Immigration Reform Plan: http://www.whitehouse.gov/issues/immigration


Saturday, May 31, 2014

Tribute to Maya Angelou by Sara Niles

Maya Angelou died just three days ago, on May 28, 2014. I was a twelve year-old girl when I first heard of Maya Angelou, the author of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, and I was engrossed when the story was told via a PBS documentary some years later. I read the book when I was in middle school for the first time, and I re-read it several times thereafter; each time finding a greater depth of meaning as my own perspective of life had expanded. 

I found Dr. Angelou to be a fascinating person as a whole of her many composite selves: the author and poet, the innovative entrepreneur, the multi-talented actress and dancer, and most of all, the tireless humanitarian philosopher and perpetual teacher whose motto was  “ If you learn, teach.”

Maya Angelou was a self-made woman whose phenomenal personality enriched the world that she lived in.
She was indeed a Phenomenal Woman:  Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou from Oprah.com, because when she walked into the ‘room’ of the world and made her place, she was noticed as she walked through life with her head “not bowed”, and even though she did not “talk real loud”, she left the echo of her words behind.

I feel I have lost another part of my life, another life member, because my world has had her in it since I was a child. Although I never met her, I knew she was there... her presence defining the perimeters of the literary world; her tweets and posts providing encouragement and hope for everyone.
I woke up today and remembered she is gone. I offer tribute to the woman who was born to small things yet rose to greatness.

Dr. Maya Angelou’s biography: Biography of Maya Angelou from Maya Angelou.com


Friday, May 9, 2014

Nigerian School Girls: Bring Back Our Girls

CNN World News: Nigerian School Girls May 8
Huffington Post May 6 U.S. to act
ABC Bring Back Our Girls May 6
The vulgar terrorist targeting of Nigerian school girls has produced an international outrage that signals the world will not tolerate such a low level of cruelty.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Ghost at the Shelter by Sara Niles

I am the author of Torn From the Inside Out, The Journey and Out of the Maelstrom, three very serious nonfiction memoirs;however, Out of the Maelstrom is laced with humor throughout, placed strategically among stories of trauma and survival to lighten the mood.
In Ghost in the Shelter, my former work colleagues and I had many laughs at my expense over this story, that can be found in Out of the Maelstrom
Image
Note: Sandy was the long time shelter manager and Veronica was the night manager of a small, nonprofit domestic violence shelter located in an impoverished and crime ridden small town. Sara Niles narrates the story.
Chapter 11 Out of the Maelstrom
 The Ghost in the Shelter

Both Veronica and Sandy were superstitious, at least enough so that they believed Casper the Friendly Ghost lived at the shelter and only came out when the house was empty of clients. I sat with them early mornings listening to their ‘ghost’ stories, and had to resist laughing out loud while they compared notes.

According to Sandy, the ‘ghost’ would get mad and knock books off the shelves in the front office. I was thinking to myself that the hundred year old wood flooring was warped and slightly lopsided, and that if I was the floor and a six foot tall woman was stomping around on me, I might tilt a book or two off the wobbly bookshelves too. According to Veronica, the ghost lived upstairs and rattled the outside top door (the fire escape door) on windy nights. Once again I was giggling inside myself while I smiled at them both. The real reason for the noise was likely a simple one such as the door was probably unlatched and banging against the wall because Veronica was too scared to go up and latch it on those cold windy nights.

The first time I experienced  both of my co-workers talking seriously about ghosts, I thought it was a prank on me to see if I would fall for it, but I was even more dumbfounded to discover they were irritated at me for not believing them.  Both Sand and Veronica truly believed the shelter had a ‘ghost’ and  the ‘ghost’ was running rampant. Both Veronica and Sandy were telling the same tale as realistically as witnesses to a crime scene recounting the hard core facts.I was so tickled that I could barely contain myself, but dared not laugh; especially since my two amazonian co-workers were six feet tall and I was a mere pittance of that height, at five foot two, I could outrun the both of them, I was sure, just in case a giggle escaped me.

“He’s really ticked off at something!” Veronica stated. The report this time was a little different from usual, because the ‘ghost’ was rattling the floor boards with this new installment of the ghost tale. It was hilarious, I was cracking up inside and had to walk out of hearing in order to relieve myself of the giggles as I thought to myself: my god, both these ladies are going loony on me-not one- by a couple flew over the coo-coos nest. What I did not know is that I was about to join them.

It happened that we had a few days with no clients, a rare thing indeed and one that should be taken advantage of to catch up and rest because breaks like this came infrequently. Someone called in to inform Sandy that she could not cover her work shift and Sandy was not prepared to cover it, so I volunteered to cover it. I could catch up on work and watch television in peace.

I was lying on the couch in the back room because it housed the largest television, when the curtains trembled. I continued to watch television (it was probably the central unit kicking on). About twenty minutes passed and the floor started to shake as though there was a physical tremor, then the  the curtains visibly shook, this time, and the tremor was sustained. I was imagining things. The washer kicked on. Whatever it was, I knew it was not a ghost because there was no such thing. Logic would prevail, logic and science and I would walk calmly into the washroom to confirm my suspicions. The washer was not in use and had not been in use that day; nor was the dryer. Not the dishwasher. Perhaps a big truck on the street caused the vibration. Whatever the cause, it had to have a scientific explanation, I thought to myself, while still feeling a bit uneasy.

I resumed watching television in my comfortable, cotton sweat suit set, with a glass of iced tea. There. Reason won out- the vibrations stopped. Just as I had dismissed the fear as irrational and unreasonable, another tremor shook the floor, and I hesitantly allowed  my arm to drop from the couch as I placed my hand flat on the floor—the vibrations were strong-it was like a small earthquake. That was it! It must be a small earthquake-of course I had never known a quake to strike in our area before, but that meant nothing. I was sure the local newspaper would confirm it tomorrow. Not to worry, but at least I knew Veronica had not lost her mind because it she had, there were two of us on the loony bus.

Morning came without event and I made coffee, Sandy would be in soon. I had not decided whether to even mention the ‘tremors’ considering how worked up over ‘ghosts’ she would get. Nope–I would just let it go.

Meanwhile, Veronica was covering the early evening shift due to a family crisis with the same staff person. I came to work the next day only to discover the ‘tremor’ that I had felt and failed to mention, had not been the work of a ‘ghost’, but was a real and present danger. The old gas lines underneath the house had sprung a leak and the friction from the escaping gas rattled the pipes, the pipes rattled the floor, and by the time Veronica arrived, the vibration could be felt on the ground. Veronica did not believe in taking risks, she was the type who would call 9-1-1 first and figure out the problem later. The Police arrived first and seemed to think Veronica had lost her mind when she told them the ‘ground was shaking’ at which the two officers looked at each other and began to do their pre-departure apology and it was at that precise moment that the biggest tremor of all hit and the ground vibrated underneath their feet. Veronica said the two officers switched into crisis mode and immediately called the situation in. The city was called and notified of the emergency so that a bulldozer was promptly dispatched and the gas lines were shut down, thus barely averting catastrophe. I was so glad Veronica was at the shelter instead of me, I would have been quietly sipping my tea while I blew sky high along with the shelter, a sobering and mildly humorous image popped into mind. Would the insurance have covered me?

I had learned my lesson in practical survival versus the ghost story. Next time there was a suspicion of a ‘ghost’ I would follow Veronica’s example and simply call 9-1-1, or maybe even Ghostbusters.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Child Broken by Sara Niles: April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

Child Broken by Sara Niles
Broken families tend to create broken children. 
I worked for almost a decade for a domestic violence agency, and during that time I came in contact with children who were severely damaged by the trauma they experienced during their short lives. The cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects of child development can be altered by trauma; and in extreme trauma that also includes betrayal and abandonment, children can be reduced to an almost animal-like state.
In a Child Broken, taken from Out of the Maelstrom, such a case is presented:

"We all assumed that the boys and their mother would relax and become friendlier after a few days, but what we did not know was the extent and duration of the torturous life these two boys had lived, the kind of life that can make an animal out of an innocent child" 
Free on Amazon April 7-9