The TORN Episodes

The Plague of 'The Narcissists' is Global

 The term 'Narcissist is not new, nor is the behavior, because pathologically selfish people existed in every phase of human history fro...

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

#MyStory by Sara Niles: Torn From the Inside Out



Memoirs about everything from minor subjects as trivial as how to tie your shoes to major works detailing trauma and tragedy that expands far outside the normal range of human experiences, such as   Surviving Auschwitz scatter the marketplace. A memoir is an account written from personal knowledge that professes historical accuracy, and personal honesty when the narrative is based on a true story of some significance. A meaningful memoir should leave a message behind, much like the duly acclaimed memoir  I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou.  In Caged Bird,  the personal struggle of young Maya to reclaim her self-esteem and identity after being raped, emerged into a powerful and poetic story of resilience. The inspirational message is you can survive and become stronger after earthshaking trauma; in Maya Angelou's case, she became her own earthshaking force as world renown poet, writer, philosopher and mentor to Oprah Winfrey.

My Story is a Memoir that recounts a childhood that was far from normal in which octogenarians relatives saved me just long enough for me to recover from the damage of early childhood neglect and abuse before my life catapulted me into the heart of a violent and abusive marriage to a mentally ill Vietnam Veteran, when I was only sixteen years old. My Story is a Memoir, Torn From the Inside Out and its message is clear: Domestic Violence bends, breaks, and kills. Too many victims never escape except through death, far too many who escape the actual abuse as damaged children, grow up to become broken adults who perpetuate the damage done to them: Broken People, Break People, and Hurt People,  Hurt People. The cycle of abuse has  be stopped; although domestic violence survivors champion resiliency and strength, the children bear the scars.

My Story is designed to increase understanding and raise awareness of domestic violence and its effect upon human lives, not just the lives of women, but all lives, the lives of  men, women, and children.


Torn From the Inside Out by Sara Niles

From the Prologue:

This book is for me and my children, as well as the millions of veterans of domestic war: those who live in homes predominated by domestic violence. Some survive the violence, stronger in some ways, and broken in others, and some do not survive at all.

In memory of the dead victims of domestic violence, I have retold stories of those who became casualties. The stories below are all true; I retold them from the perspective of my own visualizations in an effort to give some validation to lives wasted, and mostly forgotten. Some things are too precious to forget, such as the lessons of history, and the deeds of unsung heroes, for if we stumble into the habit of forgetting, we lose both the value of life and the opportunity to become a wiser and stronger generation. If we forget, we lessen our children’s heritage and cheat them of the legacy of their pasts, therefore we can never forget. 

I lived a life that was far from ordinary, and even far from normal. I was given away when I was barely over three years old to two aged, octogenarian relatives who had been childless until their early eighties, when they received me, much like a human gift. I was cherished and protected by them, that is, as long as they could offer such protection I lived in 'The Garden of Eden'. 

Time passed and I found myself far removed from such valued protection when I was on the brink of losing my life to a violent abuser, one I had married and pledged to spend a lifetime with. My life would take me far from my life's oasis, my childhood Garden of Eden.

Chapter 1

The Garden of Eden

Chapter 1

The Garden of Eden

Thunder rattled the window- panes two stories high and lightning split the sky; it was as if the whole world was in turmoil that night. My nerves were keyed up as tight as piano strings, and in a sudden moment of stillness and silence it felt as though my heartbeat was amplified ten times over. He was over a hundred pounds greater than I, nearly a foot taller, and I knew he could move his muscled body into unbelievable sprints. Rain started falling in torrents while the storm raged outside. I was not afraid of the storms of nature; it was the storm inside this night that I knew I might not survive.

Anticipation was so great that I wanted to scream at him to get it over with... and true to my expectation he lunged for me and my body did not disappoint me as I flew down the stairs two at a time in my bare feet. He stalled for mere seconds to enjoy his pronouncement of a death sentence upon me:
“I AM GOING TO KILL YOU—YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING BITCH—STONE DEAD!”He screamed like a crazed animal.

The date was February 13, of the year 1987, the night that I disappeared into a February rainstorm with five children and no place to go. I was twenty-nine years old.







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Monday, March 9, 2015

Young Malcolm London: High School Training Ground

Malcolm London: High School Training Ground

This Great Young Activist uses poetic dialogue, rhythmically delivered to make strong social statements about education, and the social influences that interfere with standard learning. Youth from homes that are filled with problems that are much bigger than the ones faced at school, come to school burdened with  more than the usual obstacles to success, internal, invisible obstacles. In Malcolm's speech, these invisible obstacles are brought to light, and the depth of the problems facing many of our youth are clearly revealed. Until the right problems are addressed the three RRR's and all that goes with it in our educational system, will never be able to reach all the 'right' minds and help all of America's youth to reach their potential.

America is rebuilt by each new generation, a little at a time and that is why the country needs all the healthy young minds and happy hearts we can give it.


Malcolm is one of those great young minds, busy changing the world. What if we had lost Malcolm, what a great loss that would have been. There are many more 'Malcolms' out there, in need of a clear path to success and happiness. The obstacles to that clear path include the social ills that have plagued American's for decades, from poverty, economic disparity, social divisions, racial divisions to generational patterns of destructive family dynamics. In order for all children to have the same paths to success, all children must have safe homes and their basic needs met, and all children must be able to feel physically and emotionally safe in their homes and free from abuse and neglect.

All children need to feel loved. These simple and basic requirements provide the foundation upon which education is built. Malcolm London eloquently points out that fact.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Tupac Shakur: Rose from Concrete

Inspiration comes from all avenues, from every specter of music and art, including rap:
"We are the roses....this is the concrete" Tupac Shakur
Watch the Video on Youtube: Rose from Concrete posted and narrated by Derrick Rose

Tupac Shakur produced a visual poetic rap of survival and tenacity in the face of overwhelming obstacles in ‘Rose From Concrete’, an obvious derivation based upon  the classic book by author Betty Smith :‘A Tree Grows in Brooklyn’, written in 1943"; A Tree Grows in Brooklyn is based upon the resilience of a young girl growing up, and thriving in adverse circumstances, and it has always been one of my favorite books. This song and video is a powerful, modern day message of similar significance.
Sara Niles