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TORN From the Inside Out & THE JOURNEY

 MEMOIRS In 1973,  a young woman, barely sixteen years old, and a zealous member of a cultist religious group, married a twenty-three year-o...

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Domestic Violence: A Societal Journey by Sara Niles




Societal behaviors develop over time, as historical influences change, new powers emerge, and societal attitudes gradually adapt and become part of the dominant culture. In the case of domestic violence, getting a historical overview of how far the world has come in recognizing domestic abuse and violence as unacceptable behavior is important to the big picture. The Indiana Coalition Against Domestic Violence  ICSDV expands the historical view of domestic violence back in time to 753 B.C. when Romulus of Rome was in power and wife beating was considered acceptable behavior among the Romans. In order for there to be a wrong behavior according to society, it must be labeled and categorized as morally and legally wrong before society as a whole takes it seriously. Societal beliefs and attitudes have to change during this process as the level of awareness is brought to the forefront. Rules and Laws have to change to reflect the seriousness of societal boundaries, and consequences have to be enforced upon those who ‘break the rules’. The first step is always labeling the ‘wrong’. In the case of domestic violence, a behavior that was once trivialized, American society had a long way to go before arriving at a healthy point in the continuum of change.
Slavery is an extreme example of how societal beliefs and attitudes affect societal response. In the United States of America, the advent of slavery began as a behavior that became the norm among those in power, to own slaves and to abuse slaves, was also the ‘norm’: there was no societal wrong involved, therefore no criminal behavior to punish, because those in power either embraced slavery or swept it under the rug. In the case of child abuse within the home, or violence against women, there was no established ‘wrong’ until the behavior was first labeled as unacceptable by society at large. Wife abuse was considered normal until the early 1900’s when statutes such as the 1945 California ruling that any man who willfully beats  his wife or child severely enough to cause “traumatic injury” will be guilty of committing a felony ICADV 


Take notice of the legal wording that suggests a man may beat his wife or child as long as there was no ‘traumatic injury’, which is a clear indication of how important wording was in the legal advances of domestic violence issues. The raising of social and societal awareness came before the implementation of change, both in the United States and globally, as women and children graduated in their societal status from that of being the property of a man to being human beings deserving of holding the right to humane and just treatment both in the home, and outside the home. In Italy, the law first decreed it a crime to kill a wife, or female relative by a man who acted to ‘uphold his honor’, as late as 1960. Society  has universally undervalued female life until the American Civil Rights movement created the Women’s Rights movement during the 1960’s, gaining strength over time as the causes of women were heralded over the next decades, resulting in the national framework that today supports domestic violence legislation, and the Federal funding of victims services that exist now.

The terms Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse and Sexual Assault, were also vestiges of the women’s movement, as new awareness bred the creation of new tools used to evoke change. Society needed to know that ‘beating’ a spouse was a serious violation of human rights, therefore the term ‘battered woman’ was first coined by Lenore Walker who was instrumental  in awakening society to the ugliness  and prevalence of domestic violence across all economic and social spectrums. The domestic violence movement gained momentum with the release of Lenore Walker’s 1979 book Battered Woman
received national attention, as it brought to the fore the dirty secret of domestic violence that was occurring behind closed doors all over the country. The domestic violence terminology that followed for the next 20 years produced labels that defined a once accepted behavior as now ‘taboo’: Domestic Violence, ‘Battered Woman’, Domestic Abuse, Sexual Assault, sexual abuse and many others that were first labeled and defined as wrong, and later supported by legislation that criminalized the behavior. The inclusion of family members was suggested by the more generic term Family Violence, as well as the fact family violence affected males as well as females. 

In order for society to fully meet the challenge of providing not only validation to victims of violence, but physical assistance via shelters and counseling programs, funding was needed-a lot of funding in all 50 states. The Violence Against Women Act, or VAWA Act of 1994, was first initiated and  is now one of the largest and broadest federally funded domestic violence grant initiatives in U.S. history. VAWA is expanded annually to provide intervention and services that address the needs of victims as well as the prosecutorial muscle to hold perpetrators of domestic violence accountable.
The 2014 VAWA initiative is a landmark marking 20 years of positive change in domestic violence legislation and societal awareness. Vice President Joe Biden spoke of the significance of that change when he cited the fact that 20 years ago, there was little legal consequence if a man “kicked his wife in the stomach” or habitually raped her, because our culture did not recognize abuse as abuse http://time.com/3319325/joe-biden-violence-against-women/

Twenty-seven years ago, I was a victim of severe domestic violence that forced me to flee for my life. I am well aware of the change in societal attitudes over the past few decades, and I was surprised to see the effect of the Ray Rice scandal and how societal response has changed. Twenty years ago, the Ray Rice scandal would not have been a ‘scandal’ any more than O.J. Simpson’s abuse and murder of his wife, Nicole Simpson was at the time. I remember one juror making a statement that minimized the role domestic violence played in the O.J. Simpson murders, when she said ‘this is no domestic violence trial-this is a murder trial”, when is fact, they were one and the same, the murder of Nicole was a domestic homicide, with Ronald Goldman’s murder  a secondary part of  the collateral damage. The O.J. Simpson trial was possibly the first big domestic violence slap in the face that helped to promote a major change in societal attitudes toward domestic violence. Domestic Violence was, and still is often fatal, a fact that victims are usually aware of before becoming homicide statistics.

In the case of Nicole Brown Simpson, just as in the case of many domestic homicide victims, the victim usually is aware of the perpetrator’s level of dangerousness. The now world famous Chris Jenner, mother to the Kardashians, was  a close friend of Nicole Brown Simpson before her murder and reported this fact to the world via a Dateline NBC Special : “Things are really bad between OJ and I, and he’s going to kill me, and he’s going to get away with it.” Nicole had told her just weeks before her murder."O.J. is going to kill me"

Society has come a long way since then, the Ray Rice domestic violence assault, caught on tape here:
The O.J. Simpson case was a wake-up call, whereas the Ray Rice event took stock of how far society has come: 
 
There is still work to do on a large scale to keep change moving forward in a positive direction. In-school education on the dynamics of healthy versus unhealthy behaviors in families and by individuals needs to become part of national policy in order to eradicate the roots of domestic violence from within dysfunctional families.Until you remove the root-the weeds always come back.


Historical Influences in Domestic Violence
The Pennsylvania Child Welfare Training Program 310: Domestic Violence Issues:


Sunday, December 21, 2014

Merry Chrismas from Malina Moye

Happy Holidays -No Gimmicks! Enter To Win a $100 Gift Card from Malina Moye & WCE Records http://lockerdo.me/q/HYq

The 'female Jimi Hendrix' of Music, according to Guitar world

"‘Rock & Roll Baby’: Guitarist Malina Moye Brings Hendrix Influence and Blues Power to New Album"   James Wood,
"There’s a seductive passion and feel in Malina Moye’s guitar playing, as evidenced by her insanely good new EP, Rock & Roll Baby, which was released October 14"
Guitar World: Rock & Roll Baby

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Eric Garner & Michael Brown: Forefront of a Social Movement

By Sara Niles

We are witnessing the beginning of a social movement with two names at the forefront: Michal Brown and Eric Garner. When a large group of people act as one to effect change, it is often marked by upheaval and conflict, such as was the case during the 1960's.

I remember the 1960's as a time of upheaval and protests, the outward expression of cries for change from multiple perspectives, from demanding equal rights for the races and genders, to an end to the Vietnam War. The simple truth was things were not okay as they were. The cultural climate and the political climate were at odds during that time, one was set to overthrow a set of rules and attitudes that prevented change, and the other was comfortable where they were. It is almost always those in power who are most comfortable with things as they are, and they seldom call for sweeping change.This pattern has been in place as long as there have been people on earth, which of course is the reason why change is often a turbulent process, that comes from deep within a nation, from the 'bottom up', just as we are witnessing in 'Ferguson'.

In the case of Ferguson, the shooting of unarmed young Micheal Brown was the last straw in a long string of events that led to the beginning of the 'movement' and  Eric Garner's unnecessary death at the hands of those who were sworn to serve and protect, was the call to pick up the momentum. The Grand Jury verdicts in each case signaled  the fact that something in the system was broken and in need of change, sparking a wave of protests that will not end soon.

Change is in the making.
 

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

NFL Executive Troy Vincent Breaks Down at Domestic Violence Congressional Hearing

"Domestic violence was a way of life in my home growing up,” said Troy Vincent, the executive vice president of football operations for the NFL. “My brother and I watched helplessly numerous times as my mother was beaten and knocked unconscious while we dialed 911. We saw how she struggled to seek help and find the courage to say no more.”  Troy Vincent

NFL Executive Breaks Down at Domestic Violence Congressional Hearing

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Benjamin Watson's Ferguson Post

 "At some point while I was playing or preparing to play Monday Night Football, the news broke about the Ferguson Decision. After trying to figure out how I felt, I decided to write it down. Here are my thoughts:
I'M ANGRY because the stories of injustice that have been passed down for generations seem to be continuing before our very eyes.
Read more:

NFL's Benjamin Watson's Ferguson Post goes viral

Monday, November 17, 2014

ISIS, the New NAZI Threat?



ISIS vs. NAZI
ISIS: Islamic State of Iraq and Syria
NAZI: the National Socialist German Worker’s Party (English translation)

ISIS –the term evokes horrifying images and brings to mind ideology that brandishes hate like a sword, much like the acrimonious acronym, ISIS. Could it be ISIS is the new 'NAZI' threat?


I remember when another four letter acronym that originally was veiled under the disguise of hope, became instead, a symbol of pure hate:  NAZI the National Socialist German Worker’s Party, formed originally to foster pride and hope for the German common people, yet became a hate mongering tool of power crazed Adolph Hitler during the 1930’s and 1940’s before the Allies toppled his regime. The Hitler led NAZI regime murdered millions of innocent men, women, and children in the most brutal and cruel fashion, much like the ISIS regime of today is doing in the ‘name of Islam’. ISIS has adopted the habit of brutally beheading innocent people and using the imagery on Youtube to both horrify most people, while mysteriously attracting others as their followers. The attraction of ISIS for the few who abandon home and family is much like the strange power of cultist religious group over its members, as they gradually become mindless and unquestioning, like brainwashed robots. Religions seldom hold violent belief systems that result in terror for the rest of the world, regardless of their tactics. ISIS followers are like religious converts willing to do anything in the name of its dark power, like beheading innocent people.
The beheading of American citizens that were simply trying to live life and do good for others, like the humanitarian, Peter Kassig, the third American to come to such a horrible fate, leaves the motives of ISIS crystal clear: they are hate mongers and terrorists. Why would anyone in their right mind want to join them after witnessing such atrocities? The only obvious answer is they are not in their right mind at all, but are lost. If being lost can cause one to be susceptible to the ISIS regime, then being lost is a dangerous place to be. Those so desperate to find a place in the world that any place at all will suffice, may find they have been seriously disillusioned. There can be no good outcome for ISIS just as there was not good ending for the NAZI party.

The NAZI party evolved into an evil killing machine that attracted power mongers, hate mongers and disenfranchised souls, seeking an identity at any cost, as members to the ‘new’ gang. The present day ISIS movement seems to have the same twisted power, the power to attract the confused, promising them a mission in life and an ‘identity’ as an ISIS member, as they hold destructive power over lives. 

There is only one valid outcome: ISIS must be stopped for the good of mankind.

ABC News ISIS leaves fate uncertain

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Hoarding: One of the Strangest of Human Behaviors



When I was growing up on a farm, hearing the term ‘Your room looks like a pigsty’,  brought to mind the muddy slop that I knew our pigs loved to wallow in. I knew most animals liked to keep their living areas clean, so the pig was different in its propensity toward filth and slop. Humans are a step above animals so most take great care to keep their surrounding clean and organized, and it is good not only for practical reasons, but a clean environment is a reflection of a person’s love and respect for self, family and others. Hoarders are of an entirely different breed, some have a mysterious and compulsive need to surround themselves with stuff, sometimes filthy, rotten stuff.
One of the most extreme cases was that of the Collyer brothers, Homer and Langley, from the 1940’s, who hoarded up a four story brownstone in Harlem, both sons of an opera singer and a doctor. The hoard was developed after the death of the brother’s parents, as both discontinued normal life as the hoarding took over. Both brothers were educated professionals when the hoarding began, and both died buried deep within the tightly hoarded building.

Hoarding can be either ‘clean’ and organized or filthy and disorganized, presenting extreme biohazard risks to the hoarder and those who live with, or near them.  Many hoarders are intelligent people, and many have extensive resources, which further confounds the mystery of why a person would hoard.
According to Mayo Clinic, there is no clear understanding of why hoarders hoard, although there are signs and risk factors:

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Ferguson and Civil Disobedience: A Human Rights Issue

Sara Niles

Riots and acts of ‘Civil Disobedience’, even peaceful protests are signs that something is wrong on a large scale. The history of civil disobedience in the U.S. has, in each individual case resulted when a sense of injustice lay smoldering in the minds of many until it erupted as a visible sign of unrest; a few examples from the past include the 1965 Watts Riot, which occurred hot on the heels of the Harlem riots a year before. In both cases there was a prevailing mindset of racial discrimination and maltreatment of Blacks, a sense of wrongness about things that festered untended by political forces. There needed to be change but no change was coming, and there was no sign of change in the near The earlier riots were clumsy attempts at forcing change and were forerunners of  the national acts of civil disobedience  that were to come, as more and more people became acutely aware of injustice.

The building mindset of racial injustice ignited a human rights storm that set the stage for the Birmingham Civil Rights Movement, with Martin Luther King emerging as its leader (http://www.detroits-great-rebellion.com/Birmingham.html). Change was being forged as history was made. The major work of the civil right movement took place in the 1960’s, but there is still work to be done when it comes of justice and human rights.

The issue at stake in the 60’s was a matter of being treated fairly, justly, and with respect, just as it is now in Ferguson, Missouri as crowds continue to protest the slaying of Michal Brown, an unarmed Black teenager, who was shot ‘at least six times’ according to autopsy reports, by a White police officer lCNN:Missouri Teen

The Civil Disobedience in Fergusson Missouri is a sign of a much bigger issue in the United States: a double standard between the treatment of Whites and Blacks in the justice system. The fair exercise of human rights applies equally to all races, and all economic divisions; because justice should be a basic human right of all people.


Saturday, July 19, 2014

SARA NILES: Books, Writing, and Social Issues: Out of the Maelstrom by Sara Niles

SARA NILES: Books, Writing, and Social Issues: Out of the Maelstrom by Sara Niles: Narrative Memoir: Trauma Tragedy and Triumph 260 pages 71,152 words Out of the Maelstrom is a stand-alone narrative memo...

Out of the Maelstrom by Sara Niles

Narrative Memoir: Trauma Tragedy and Triumph 260 pages 71,152 words





Out of the Maelstrom is a stand-alone narrative memoir that can be read as part of The Torn From the Inside Out trilogy, or separately. Out of the Maelstrom is narrated by Sara Niles as a collection of short stories , philosophical insights and world views that create a global view of human suffering and provide an inspirational mirror that reflects the “power of the human spirit under fire”





Sara Niles survived extreme abuse and fled with her five children in 1987; over a decade later, Sara became a counselor and trainer for a domestic violence agency in a small town. It was during the ten years Sara was employed as a domestic violence professional that she was exposed to the worst of the worst , and the best of the best , those who were defeated and hardened by life and those who were empowered by trauma and tragedy and who not only survived, by triumphed.





Excerpts and Quotes
"When the storms of life are worse than the storms of nature, those who survive rise out of the maelstrom"





“The pages of my books are the parchment upon which I wrote using the 'ink' of my life: the blood, sweat and tears that represent the long struggle of the 'journey', the life trip that began long ago with the hungry little girl who 'sat in the sand' waiting to be saved by ‘an ancient old man’.  The story of child abuse, salvation, domestic violence and escape as told in Torn From the Inside Out, continued with the endearing and heart wrenching story of the children of Torn From the Inside Out in The Journey, as they struggled with the issues of their own survival and redemption.





 Out of the Maelstrom Out of the Maelstrom contains stories about real people: stories of trauma and triumph, and extremes of what life has to offer, from the kindness that defines the best of human nature to the cruelty that defines the worst. Many of the stories contain paradoxical dilemmas of social significance that have arisen out of our culture and stand as a testament to the broken parts of society that affect the marginalized and the forgotten members, the ones most in need of help. The scope of Out of the Maelstrom broadly sweeps in the worldview as part of the context of everyday human life, since no man exists on an island.





Excerpts from Chapter One





"He was dead, alright. The sight of death is an ugly and fearsome thing, I thought, as I absorbed the tragic sight in front of me. It was a man, 'The man', who was lying in the road with blackish--red blood pooled around his head, and as he lay face down with his feet in his own yard, while his head and shoulders were planted in the street, he gave the appearance of a killed animal felled in its tracks by a hunter."





"I applied to work for this agency because I felt that I belonged there, because it was where my heart was. I wanted to help people who had hurt like I hurt and felt trapped like I had. I wanted to empower those who felt they were powerless and give courage to the broken hearted. My comrades in this mission were all there with me, we all wanted the same things for similar reasons and we would share a rich and grand experience working together, an adventure that needed telling, a soulful potion that needs sharing in the journey of this new life" "She said her name was Evelyn, the name sounded soft and genteel, but the lady was not"





"Oh...You will just have to come see for yourself-I'd get over here if I were you -and hurry!" she said with a little nervous laugh" (Sandy the Shelter Manager)





Table of Contents (samples)

Chapter 1.....Homicide in the Street...11 Chapter 2.....A Place of Safety in a Time of Danger...Chapter 3.....A Special Brand of People  ....Norman Rockwell & The Lady From Harvard... Chapter ....Wolves-Within ...........Chapter 28.....A Visit: Back to My Past... Chapter 29.....

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

The U.S. Immigration Dilemma is Here and Now

The Immigration Dilemma in the United States and American Roots

The United States of America was born as a result of the blood sweat and tears of former immigrants who sought out a new land. When the first ‘Americans’ set foot on the new land, the natives occupying the land were the only ‘non’ immigrants, everyone else came from England, different countries in Europe, from forced capture from Africa, and from almost every land in the world, so by the year 2014, America is a true melting pot of nations and cultures. The problem with immigration is not so much that there are immigrants still seeking out American soil, the problem is with keeping legal order so that the borders are not flooded with undocumented immigrants who have no legal right to be here. The U.S. has to keep order, or else situations like the case of hundreds of children being placed at risk crossing the desert and vulnerable to the whim of criminals, will become the new norm.

The immigration situation is filled with complications .Many the children that are currently detained by the United  States , were  running away from  dangerous situations and could face death if returned to their native soil; thus placing the U.S. in a no-win situation. The human thing to do is to protect the children by not returning them to ‘certain death’ as O’Malley stated: 

The legal thing to do is to honor American legislation involving immigration, and send the children back. Some believe the children should not be here at all and are protesting their arrival, and some are protesting the possible deportation of these illegal immigrants. What to do? Stick to the law or act humanely? The question is no longer a practice in rhetoric, the question has to be answered immediately because the problem is here and now.
Arizona Immigrant Children:

It may be wise to reflect upon the roots of American origins before making a hasty decision, for example there were many icons that became American legends, who were first immigrants before they became American citizens. Many have contributed richness to our culture, and some have directly changed politics, science and law.

Famous American Immigrants

Fred Astaire’s father, Frederic Austerlitz (the last name Astaire was an attempt to Americanize the last name Austerlitz), arrived in American via Ellis Island in 1892).
Albert Einstein was born in Germany in 1879 and arrived in the United States just as Hitler came to power and began his campaign against Jews; Einstein was visiting in the U.S. and decided not to return to Germany, since he was Jewish and would have surely become a target of the Nazi regime. It was after Einstein made the decision not to return to Germany that he discovered his name was on a Nazi ‘hit’ list. Einstein became an American citizen in 1940.Einstein revolutionized the world of physics with his clarification of the relationship between energy and matter, E=MC2
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the former governor of California, was born in Austria and came to the United States as a body builder in 1921. Schwarzenegger was considered the most famous immigrant in America. Schwarzenegger became a U.S. citizen in 1983.

To name a few more famous U.S. immigrants: Henry Kissinger, Sophia Loren, and Yao Ming
The White House Immigration Reform Plan: http://www.whitehouse.gov/issues/immigration